If you really want to know… I’m a Cathodist

Best I can figure, I am a Cathodist Misallievangelical with close ties to the Baptist’s. However, I am mostly Catholic, then Methodist. The other two churches I elected to become a member of, I did so during my seeking years. I spent a few looking for a place where I would feel that I “fit in.”

My mom might disagree with me and say I am mostly Methodist, since I was born into a Methodist family, baptized as a baby in the Methodist Church and where I attended for the first twenty-two years of life. A good case, but so is the one that claims I am mostly Catholic. I had to earn it.

After attending weekly classes for a year after we were married, I passed the test that declared me to be Catholic. I probably had an advantage as well, since I had graduated from Cathedral High School. The church accepted my baptism as a baby but not my confirmation, I guess because they called it first communion. So I took part in a ceremony with a class of second graders in order for the Catholic church to recognize our union under God. Whew, we pulled it off – married by the Methodists AND approved by the Catholics. Both in-laws were in luck.

0224180001 (4)

We did about a decade of semi-faithful Catholicism before long days at the community park took over the time commitment. Not for long though, for we started going to a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church after a neighbor invited us, which we loved, and then lost the pastor to a better town. A colleague invited us years later to an Evangelical Church, which we also loved, until the hour-long drive started to wear on us.

When my “church hopping” escapades ended up at the Baptist Church, my enthusiasm to study the bible really took off. For I had never heard of “the rapture” before, in all of my almost 40 years in a handful of churches. I was also looking for where the bible says that I would go to hell if I were not baptized Baptist. What I found was a little more shocking, at first, though so intriguing that I continued studying using the Strong’s Concordance. Suddenly, the bible made more sense than ever to me. And everyday, it continues to fascinate me.

Before I get into all that, I just want to say – my goal is to share what I have been studying about the bible, nothing more. I do not care to try to convince anyone of anything. I would simply like to share some things I have discovered, in case others are searching like I was and struggling with a faith not making much sense. And if what I have to share happens to add to your already sense-filled faith, well then that would be fine. This will be in an upcoming post.

As far as my faith, it is overflowing. Because of this, I feel I can “fit in” just about anywhere, even when I don’t. As far as what to call me, should you have a need to label it, we’ll go with Cathodist. Predominantly Catholic and then Methodist. And because Cathodist sounds better than Metholic.

How’s that for organized religion?

The Revival in Waurika

As I am not a huge fan of organized religion, my immediate reaction this morning upon hearing of the “Bible Quest Worship & Drama” schedule for the week at my parent’s church was, I hope my parents won’t want to come to this every night. Church every night, oh, that just seemed like a lot.

Ten minutes into the service, my thoughts changed to, I hope my parents want to come to this every night! It was awesome! One of their brochures says it best – You’ve never seen anything like The Master’s Storyteller. His name is Wesley Putnam, of Wesley Putnam Ministries.

Tonight, Elijah came to life as a New York Bronx cop. Tomorrow night we get to see Gideon as a Yiddish version of Barney Fife. The music was also amazing. A little mini-revival, is what I would describe it as, although I have never been to a revival before. I just know that it is absolutely entertaining and soul shifting – girls and boys young and old alike laughed until they cried and then tried not to cry when their heart started to stir. I saw it. I felt it. Powerful stuff, and I am grateful that I get to be a part of it at the First United Methodist Church Waurika, where I have been a visitor ever since I was born. I used to be visiting my grandparents, now it’s my parents.

On the way back to their house in Hastings, I took pictures of the sunset. Not bad, considering it is through the window.


If you ever have a chance to see Wesley Putnam, The Master’s Storyteller, I highly recommend that you do. Until then, you can find him at wesleyputnam.org. (And yes, we plan on going every night. I am so excited!)

Love and Fear

On this day a decade ago, Dave got to wake up at home for the first time in 9 days. He had finally been released from the hospital on March 1st. How appropriate it was, then, that on this day, Dave and I went out for the first time, just the two of us, on his newest, biggest project. I call it “the big boat.”


It was also on this day 10 years ago that the magnitude of his accident hit me. Clients had to be called, doctor’s appointments had to be made, and prescriptions had to be picked up. And guess who had to do all the driving? Me. Can you guess that I did not have a very good attitude about it? Well I did not.

This is one of the things I needed to work through, as I mention in The Trauma 10 Years Ago, and a large part of why thoughts of his accident gave me such anxiety – I had a hard time accepting my own behavior during this time. Especially my attitude towards Dave. I was extremely selfish.

It took me a while to even see this, as I thought that anyone who was going through what I was, would feel the same way. My nice, comfortable schedule was getting all screwed up and I didn’t like it. Our income stopped and I really didn’t like that. When I found myself getting mad at Dave for the accident even happening, I knew I needed to change. I knew this was not the kind of person I wanted to be.

One day not too long after his accident, Dave bumped into something on his blind side, and I said in a not so nice tone, “Watch where you are going!” He turned to me and said, “How come when I get hurt, you get mad at me?” I know I wanted to deny it and couldn’t. I simply said, “I don’t know.” What a turning point this was for us.

I have since found out that this sort of behavior is typical of people in fear. I remember when I first heard that everything we do or say either comes from a place of fear or love, I had a hard time believing it. Now I have no doubt. Knowing this has helped me to change. Instead of yelling, “What are you doing,” when Dave docked the big boat, I was able to ask, “Can I help you with whatever it is you are trying to do,” and then actually try to help with a cheerful heart.


My own stubbornness almost got my attitude stuck on the fear side, and then knowing full well this is not who I want to be, I silently said, “Oh God, please help me,” and He did. Instead of reacting in fear, I was able to respond in love. And for me, God supplies that love.

Afterwards, my truck wouldn’t start and fear struck again. We had driven separately since I had things to do in the afternoon. I felt the panic strike and immediately, my mind went to, “He’s going to leave without knowing I’m stranded, where’s his cell phone, will he hear my call?” All sorts of things raced through my mind in the 10 seconds it took me to reach him, the last one being, “God, help!” Today, I am working on it being the first thought, along with thanking Him for the many blessings He bestows everyday. Including Dave being able to fix the loose battery connection quickly.

Ain’t Skeered

I love my cats, even when they kill birds, which I also love. And when they bring a piece of one to me, drop it at my feet and then proceed to lick my leg, yes it grosses me out and I run for the gloves and soap, but I still love them. And when they puke-up the rest of it on my kitchen floor I still love them then, even as I hold back my own gag cleaning up after them.

When they get in a fight and scream, I come running, hoping to rescue them from danger (and save on vet bills). Living on nearly ten acres with wildlife all around is not the same as living near a city. I have done my share of saving. One cat though, he wants nothing to do with me but he stays around like he owns the place. I let him but have learned that if it is him I hear in a scuffle, running to him won’t matter, in fact a few times it has made matters worse. So he’s out there on his own but knows right where I am if and when he wants my protection.

It likely did not help his opinion of me to be trapped, caged, and taken to the vet, where he was poked and prodded while getting vaccinated and sterilized. Although I tried explaining to him that it was for his own good, his focus remained set on clawing at the cage. He refused to calm down and accept the comfort that all my other cats find sitting in my lap.

My cats all have free-will. They can do what they want – they don’t have to come inside at night if they choose not to. Some listen to me better than others. Sometimes I wonder why this particular one won’t give the indoors, or me, a try. I pondered on the possibility that he’s just scared, and that if I force him in somehow, he’ll see how nice it is. Then I realized how this would only add to his fear, which I believe is the whole problem in the first place.

If this animal could talk, I bet it would say the same thing that some humans do who are in this position with God. In my neck of the woods this sounds something like, “Ain’t skeered,” and is wrapped in at least one rationalization of why he/she/it does not need God. I have been there. Maybe you have too. Maybe you want nothing to do with God, and for good reason. And maybe this reason is really Satan’s doing to keep you from God. I get it; I have been there. And after a while, it started to really suck. The loneliness and sorrow I felt for myself were taking over. I had a hard time getting myself out of bed, much less doing anything about it. One thing I did do, however, is ask people to pray for me.

While at first glance I would be the first one to disagree with this request of prayer for self, I believe it also depends on the motive behind this plea. Not asking for a prayer of prosperity, but for the ability to get out of bed and be useful, and not be such a burden on others. My husband, my parents, and a few friends received this request while all the while, I, myself, was not on talking terms with God.

However carefully I crafted my thoughts to justify my standing with The Almighty, my soul knew the truth and would not give me peace until my mind took heed. For years I thought, I just must not get it, and then I became frustrated. Then I started to think, God must not want me to get it, and I became angry. Angrier, I should say. I had heard of this “peace” that God granted to some, and I wanted in on it. I believed in it, I had seen it, yet it eluded me. So I made my rounds ’round my churchy friends and showed them how God must not like me. Then I went to bed and pulled the covers over my head.

Somehow, however, I knew deep down that it was not God, that it was me. I struggled to understand and tried to make myself believe something that did not make sense. So I searched for something that did. I was shocked to discover that the original manuscripts of the bible make perfect sense and that through the translations, the meaning of many things has been misconstrued. For instance, the earth became void and without form [by God’s own doing], not that it was void and without form [when God created it]. And the whole scene in the Garden of Eden – it took place alright, but it wasn’t about an apple. No, the scene in the Garden of Eden was about Satan seducing Eve. She then showed Adam what they had done.

You can find more about this by clicking on the category “Bible Study” below.

Solar Systems, Galaxies & Universes

Our solar system includes the Sun, eight planets, their moons, and all other celestial bodies that orbit the Sun. There are 146 known moons in orbit around the planets and another 26 awaiting final approval before being added to the list (according to NASA’s website in July 2013). And that’s only within our small solar system. The thought of these planets and moons spinning about in such remarkable order and efficiency without a higher power being in control, I find unbelievable.

Then there are galaxies. Our solar system is located in the Milky Way galaxy, which is so big that even at the speed of light, it would take 100,000 years to travel across it. And it is not the only galaxy. There are billions of others (yes, billions with a “b”), and they are so far away, that light from them arriving to earth today was set out from the galaxies billions of years ago. So we see them not as they are today, but as they were before life on earth even existed. These billions of galaxies make up our universe. I mean really, are you comprehending this?

So now we get into universes. Well no one actually knows yet if ours is the only one, or how big our universe even is, again all this according to NASA’s website, nasa.gov. Scientists say that other parts of the universe very far away may be quite different than the universe closer to home. They just don’t know.

I could get lost for days on NASA’s website, and not just because of my slow satellite connection to the internet, but because space fascinates me and the site is very well put together with what seems like endless information. And one thing I absolutely love is that they extend general permission for others to use most of the media found on their site, even for personal web pages such as this. If you are interested, their guidelines about this can be found at http://www.nasa.gov/audience/formedia/features/MP_Photo_Guidelines.html#.Ueq6UKzYFCc.

That being said, check out this image of our galaxy from NASA, and then consider the following:

There are countless solar systems in our galaxy, and so far we know almost 400 of them have planets in their orbits. Scientists don’t even use the word countless for galaxies, they know it is in the billions. Not so with solar systems though, they remain countless. So, this is one galaxy, and it would take 100,000 years to travel across it at the speed of light, and there’s billions of others? I suppose there could be skeptics who say that scientists are wrong and that none of this is true, the way people do about theologians and Christianity, but what would be the point? You might be wondering what my point is, and it’s something along these lines: Is grasping the nature of space much different than grasping a higher power creating it all?

Considering our galaxy is spinning at 490,000 miles an hour and needs 200 million years to make one rotation, and that there’s a billion other galaxies out there, it is downright scary to me to think that all that is going on “by chance” without a higher power in charge. No, scary isn’t the right word… more like inconceivable, or unimaginable. Really, just totally unbelievable.

So what is it about God that people have a hard time believing? Does it really make more sense to believe that all the activity in the universe as we know it (which is a tiny, tiny fraction), just happened to occur, and with the exact precision needed for the earth to form the way it did? Not to me it doesn’t, I don’t have that much faith. It is just downright scary to think all that activity has nothing keeping it in check. How depressing to think there is not something bigger, a power greater than me, God, or whatever you want to call it, maintaining order of it all. I suppose it makes sense then, that antidepressants are on the rise!